HeartLess
by NightShade1002
Summary: This is more or less 'The New Proxy's' prequel of what happened to Arana in a watered down version of her life will continue if there is a large response.


Since the day I came unto this earth you looked at me as if I was something you needed to fix. The look of undeniable coldness and calculation in your eyes as if I was the problem and that you somewhere had the solution to my 'abnormality'.

I could feel little pinprickd of ice forming in my viens... I shrugged it off.

I learner early on that all you saw me as was an experiment as the taste of the dry and bitter pills grew more frequent, and when I learner that if you looked at me with scrutiny it wasn't out of concern it was... curiosity. So I hid... my reactions, my sadness, my shame, my fear, and soon enough my hate.

The ice grew from pinpricks to a steady size, I shrugged it off once more.

Later in my life I also began to fear the sight of the sickly sweet victorius frozen smiles and the smell of the sterile labcoats telling me that I was in a painful night. The cold chills my blood.

The moment whatever medicine that was supposed to cure me 'failed', then would come the physical torment. Harsh blows as well as insults would rain down upon me as if it were doomsday's firestorm, it burned and scorched every inch of my soul wounding me in places that are untouchable by physical blows. Finally it would end with me being dragged by loosly worn t-shirt to the closet next to my room and flung into the waiting abyss head first leaving me to nurse my wounds and try not to cry out as the walls seemed to slowly enclose further and further towards me. The cold kept me company in the long night, I shrugged it off.

Years later I got my first taste of my second hell also know as school. The crude students that swagered through the hallways always sneered in my direction and spat insults to my face as well as stating something my "parents" didn't have the guts not say behind my back... that I was a problem to anyone who tried to deal with me. The ice formed into larger peices steadily flowing among my cooling blood.

That was one insult among others as such as: Freak, Nucince, Regard, Idiot, and amusingly Arrogent. Even with those words floating around following me through my day... haunting me they took it another step. The cold inches ever closer to my heart.

The curling fist sent me careening into the dull colored lockers and gave them another chance nail me with another in the ribs, yet even as the physical pain spiked and my mind acknowledged it but my body refused to so my mask that hid everything from the outside world yet again. The cold hardens my bones and forms a small ball of ice in my heart, what will it do?

Which is why after my second hell was over I spent my free hours wandering the forest memorizing every landmark and uncovered my secret stash of knowledge and food letting myself become the more knowledgeable of the simple minded and harsh people back in reality. When the sun had just begun to drift below the horizon I had already climbed through my window and settled myself in my bed I knew they wouldn't be back it was a slow night tonight. The creaking of the solid ice lulls me to sleep.

The final straw for the torment that I had received at school was when a regular snob made her way to me and tripped me and stated that I was something that should be like the rest of the words thrown at me... meaningless, but it was anything but that. "HEARTLESS."

I don't hadn't realized how much that word effected my until I felt the ignored ever growing ball of ice cosume my heart...

and I finally welcome it.

After the day continues on my frozen heart screams for revenge on the accused one, I carry it out.

The snivilling snob who spat the accursed words at me gets ready to leave to go home alone in the locker room... perfect. I smoothly slid up next to her and grab her falsely floored blond hair and slam her face into the locker that I had once been beaten into, she opens her mouth to scream I curled my hand into a fist and brought it down on her cheek. I hissed a threat saying that if she tried to scream again I would break her nose, I wasn't sure if I would follow through with my threat but she was as her tear, blood, and fear coated face bobbed up and down with a silent affirmative.

I must really have scared her with my expressionless face and with the tight grip I held her hair in. With a quick jerkish nod to quick for her to catch I threw her to the ground and aimed a kick at her ribs, my aim was true as I heard a soft snap and a strangled sob leave the quivering mess below me. I stopped for a moment to let her catch her breath and cradle her injured side, from experience I could tell that she had two cracked ribs. I leaned down to her face that was contorted in pain and spoke in a soft slow voice telling her that if she ever came near me again or told anybody of this I would hunt her down and deliver ten times worse the pain she was feeling now, I stood and turned making my leave of the school leaving the whimpering girl behind.

Was I really heartless?

I shivered in fear as the sound of the car pulling into the driveway assaulted my ears, 'they' were home and early too. They quickly opened the door and my inner fear increased the smiles they wore were fake and the sterile smell of their work tingled my nose, my 'father' gave a swift nod to my 'mother'. She casually went into the kitchen while he quickly came forward and pinned me to back of the couch and as my mother came back he held out his hand, gently cupping her hand she poured a handful of colorful gel pills into his. Not again was my only thought before he gingerly held them in front of me and violently shoved my head backwards, he franticly forced the pills in my mouth and tried to make me swallow them but one thing stopped as my mother kept repeating the same line over and over again... its for your own good, it will make you better, with this you'll be perfect now. It was the same lines she chanted over and over each time my father did this... except I was DONE I didn't want to live like this always in some sort of inner everlasting fear. The confrontation of the blond chick told me something... I was ready to fight back and not just take the pain into stride.

The ice thrummed through my veins and I saw red.

When I opened my eyes the living room was covered in a dark crimson, my hands and most of my upper torso was also covered in it, I looked around for my parents and found their bodies next to the couch with their chests ripped open still gushing the salty crimson fluids that stained my hands. A tear of disbelief ran down my cheek and I wiped it away leaving a burgundy smudge in its place, finally it all set into place my parents were dead... I was... free? A low breathy chuckle escaped and morphed into a hysterical laugh as it occurred to me what I did to them...

I made you what you made me...

HeartLess


End file.
